Righting My Wrongs
by Pretty Pirate
Summary: [5.11 and 5B Rewrite] It had to be her. It all started with her, so she had to be the one to end it. She couldn't let him pay the price for her mistakes... Unknowingly, she gave him what he deserved for his mistakes. Now he would do anything to undo it all, to right all the wrongs. No matter what it takes, he will bring Emma back, or die trying.
1. Prologue: Swan Song

**A/N: So I know I have pending fics which I need to update, but I was watching season 5 again and an old idea - the way I thought the rest of the season could go the first time around - revisited me. I just couldn't resist it.**

 **Why I thought Emma should be the one to sacrifice herself:**

 **\- She was the one who started this whole thing, so its fitting that she end it.**

 **\- I was really really really pissed off at Killian after Broken Heart. He deserves the full force guilt of Emma's death after what he did. Killing him off and naming him 'hero' is the easy way out, I wanted the difficult one.**

 **\- Aand because if Emma dies, we can always be sure that she'll return lol. I didn't want months of angsty wait, pulling my hair out wondering if my ship will survive.**

 **Anyway, the reason's mostly the second one, so expect loads of angst. If I can pull it off, that is *hides her face***

* * *

 **Swan Song**

"You can't do this."

She turned, Excalibur held protectively in her hand.

"Killian" she greeted formally, her voice devoid of emotion. "I have to. If I don't, my family will die."

"But if you do, you will die." Killian said, his voice wavering for a moment before he controlled himself.

"So now you care what happens to me?" Emma asked coldly.

Killian chose not to respond. "You can't fight us. Better give in right now."

"I'll never give up on my family." Emma said vehemently.

"You're fighting a lost battle then, love." He poofed behind her and tried to take the Excalibur, but she turned in time to point it at him. He tried again, but Emma was quick enough.

"Tell me truthfully, Killian," she said, "why are you stopping me?"

 _Because I can't let you die._

He crushed the response the moment it formed. "Because, love, you know as well as me how badly I need my revenge."

Her stance dropped slightly as she gave him a sad half smile. "You're lying."

Before he could absorb her statement, she snapped her fingers, and caught off guard, he was frozen.

She walked up to him and lightly touched his cheek. "I'm sorry it had to come to this, Killian, but I can't kill you or let my family die. This is the only way to sort out the mess I created."

His eyes were wide with fear, telling her what his eyes couldn't. _Don't do this. Don't leave me alone. Don't die for me._

She quickly poofed them beside the lake, where all the dark ones were gathered along with her family.

She could hear her family scream her name, but she couldn't make out the words. She took a last glance at them all, saw them running towards her. They couldn't save her today - she wouldn't let them.

She held the Excalibur up, gathering all the darkness in it. She looked at Killian one last time, and she hated what she saw; the fear, the helplessness, the guilt, the despair. She hated that she had caused it - caused this all - and was making him go through this pain again.

But she had to do it.

Without another thought, she plunged Excalibur into herself, vanquishing the darkness, freeing Killian, freeing herself. Finishing what she started.

As the world went black, the last thing she saw was Killian's broken expression as he collapsed next to her, the last thing she heard was her mother's scream of despair, while somewhere behind them her son was crying.

The only thing she could think was 'At least I'm not alone in a tiny apartment with no one but a pet cat to miss me.'

She was loved. She smiled, because while she had just lost everything, she had also gained everything.


	2. Chapter 1: The Guilty Survivor

**Chapter 1: The Guilty Survivor**

He was numb.

He watched helpless as his Swan plunged the sword into herself, falling to the ground. He fell next to her, trying to do something, anything, and yet he could just watch helplessly as the light left her eyes.

He couldn't think or move. He just sat there, feeling like a thousand shards of glass were piercing his heart, just one thought in his mind.

 _This is all my fault._

* * *

Everything reminded him of her. He couldn't go anywhere; wherever he went, he would be confronted by memories of Emma, which came with a sharp pain to his heart.

Rum, he needed rum. At least it will numb the pain.

But as soon as he touched his flask he froze again.

 _"Is rum your solution to everything?"_

 _"It certainly doesn't hurt."_

Well, it did now. He couldn't even look at his rum flask without remembering all their moments around it. Without remembering that they couldn't have any more, and it was all because of him.

It was his fault Henry lost his mother, Snow and David lost their daughter. That he lost the woman he loved, who he had come to value more than his own life.

All because of a pointless revenge that was never going to happen and getting back at her for saving his _bloody_ life.

He would have laughed, however mirthlessly, at his own pettiness, if the enormous guilt he felt pushing him down with every moment gave him a moment's respite.

He gave in, picking up his flask and gulping down the alcohol as fast as he could, hoping it could kill him. Death was better than this.

But he knew this was what he deserved, to survive, to life with what he had done. Survival had always been his curse, however disguised as a blessing. Death would have been too easy.

* * *

He woke up terribly hungover, and clutching a photo of Emma to himself. He had fallen asleep on one of the benches near the docks, where he had spent most of the previous night. His head was throbbing, and he tried to regain his senses... and registered a strange whispering sound.

It was familiar, but it didn't immediately strike him. And then it clicked: the Dark One's dagger.

But how was that possible? He wasn't still a dark one, was he? And Emma...

He followed the whispers; a quest was a good way to distract himself from thoughts of Emma, though the pain never really left.

He wasn't particularly surprised when it led him to Rumpelstiltskin's shop.

But how was it possible? He had seen the Excalibur get destroyed along with the darkness.

The whispers were strongest at the front shelf. He climbed over it and started searching, soon finding the dagger, wrapped up in a cloth pouch.

He took a deep breath, and took it out, and saw the name written on it.

 _Rumpelstiltskin_

Of course. The _bloody crocodile_ had found a way, and got back his precious dagger, and the power he couldn't live without.

And, to think of it, he had probably goaded him into it. And now, because of his idiocy, Emma's sacrifice had been fruitless. One more thing to add to the growing list of his mistakes, he thought, sighing.

In that moment, he made a crazy, split second decision. He wouldn't let Emma die for no reason. He had the perfect idea to save his lady love, with the added bonus of making the Dark One suffer.

"Dark One, I command thee, appear!" he commanded.

Rumpelstiltskin appeared in a puff of smoke, his look of bewilderment quickly masked by understanding when he saw the pirate.

"I see you've found my dagger." He said calmly, but with an air of intimidation. "And as you can see, it has returned to its rightful owner."

Killian lunged at him, face contorted with fury, but was pushed back.

"After all these years, you learn nothing. I now have the combined power of every Dark One that ever existed, including you and your dearly departed Miss Swan. Don't delude yourself into thinking you can hurt me. Now, my dagger if you please." He said with the right amount of threat, outstretching his hand.

Killian let out a mirthless laugh. "Oh, Crocodile. Why would I have taken it if I intended to return it?"

Rumpelstiltskin tried to take the dagger, but was thwarted.

"Now, my first command." Killian said, "Don't try to take the dagger."

Rumple was forced to stop his attempts immediately.

Killian smirked slightly despite himself. "Let's see how _you_ enjoy being _my_ slave. I haven't forgotten."

"You will pay for this." Rumple hissed.

"I don't care." Killian stated. "Now, better get ready, _Dark One_... I've got a job for you."

* * *

He hadn't seen any of the others since Emma died. How could he even look at them, knowing what his actions had cost them? Snow, David, Henry... They must all hate him. They should, really, he deserved it.

So when he saw them while walking back from the pawnshop, he immediately turned around and decided to take some other route, even if it was longer. He couldn't face them. Couldn't bear to see the sorrow in their eyes, the sorrow he had caused. Couldn't bear to hear that they forgave him, when he knew they couldn't, when he couldn't ever forgive himself, even if he managed to save Emma.

"Killian." A voice called from behind, making him stop in his tracks.

" _Killian_ again? It seems you're losing your touch, your majesty." The jibe lacked the usual force and mirth behind it.

Regina ignored the comment and went to stand facing him.

"You can't keep blaming yourself." She said with a sigh.

"Really? Because from where I stand, there's no one to blame but me. I've ruined everything." He said, voice thick with emotion. He made to walk away, but Regina stopped him.

"They forgave you, Killian." She insisted, "We know you weren't thinking straight. It isn't your fault. You have to forgive yourself."

He chuckled. "You of all people should know that it's easier said than done, Regina, and you haven't even gone that far."

"Really? How do you think I cast the dark curse?" Regina said in a broken voice. "We've both done terrible, terrible things, hurt the ones closest to us. But what's happened, has happened, and our regret can't change that. But we can't just fall into a pit of self-loathing. We have to live with it. Move on."

"Unless I can correct my mistakes." He blurted out before he could stop himself.

"What?" Regina asked, confusion fading into realization and curiosity. "You've found something. What is it? What are you planning to do?"

Killian sighed. "You have to promise you won't tell anyone else." Regina reluctantly nodded.

"I'm getting her back."


	3. Chapter 2: On The Way To Hell

**Chapter 2: On The Way To Hell**

Killian was slightly surprised to see the Mayor joining him at the lake, her stance businesslike.

"So," she stated matter-of-factly, "I managed to convince the Charmings and Robin that I'm going to New York for a few days for some urgent work, and you'll be joining. Well, that I'm dragging you with me so that you can spend at least one rum-free day."

Killian was still somewhat confused about what she was getting at, and responded with furrowed brows, "Thank you for making excuses for me, love, but I doubt they would've noticed anyway. You didn't need to do all this. Now you'll have to disappear until I return, and who knows how long that'll take." _And that is if he does return._ Even though he doesn't want to say it, he knows that there are no guarantees there. The only thing he knows is that he'll return with Emma, or not at all, because Killian Jones would sooner die than give up.

Regina sighed. "I'm not 'disappearing' anywhere. I'm coming with you."

"No, you're not." Killian replied. "It's too dangerous. I can't let anyone else risk there life for this."

"Why? Do you think you're the only one who cares about Emma?" Regina retorted heatedly.

"No, of course not! But..." He sighed, "Regina, this is a suicide mission. We have little idea what this place will be like, and what we _do_ know is that it'll be far from pleasant. There's no saying when we'll be back, and that's _if_ we come back at all."

"I know what I'm doing. I don't know if I can say the same for you; how long do you hope to keep the Dark One on his leash? And when he does get free, do you think he'll be very happy about this?"

"I can take care of it." He said dismissively.

"No, you can't. You don't know what you're talking about." Regina insisted. "Look, Killian, I'm not letting you jump headfirst into the land of doom in just the company of a man who's more likely to kill you halfway there. I'm coming, Jones, whether you like it or not, so please, lead the way."

Killian sighed, knowing that there's no way she'll be persuaded otherwise.

He raised the dagger. "Dark One, I summon thee."

Rumpelstiltskin appeared in a puff of smoke, looking bitter and unwilling as ever. He looked at Regina in surprise. "Didn't expect to see you here."

She just shrugged. "Well, get used to it."

"Now, Crocodile, there will be time for socializing. Right now we have a ferry to catch, so if you will do the honours..."

Sending a murderous look at Killian, the Dark One pulled out a small knife from his coat, and made a small cut in his palm. He let a single drop of blood fall into the lake.

A ripple passed over the lake, along with a haze, which cleared to show them the ferry that will be their ride to Hell.

Killian gestured towards the boat. "After you."

* * *

The ferry jerked to a stop.

One by one they got up and onto the outline of a pier that was visible through the thick fog. Two steps further and he could no longer see his companions.

And then the fog was gone.

He looked around. The scene was familiar; it was a dockyard, just like the hundreds he had seen over the years, and yet it wasn't. It wasn't bustling with activity like ports usually are. A few workers did their job silently, a vacant yet haunted look on their faces. It was really odd to see a port so dead.

Dead. _Dead_.

Of course.

* * *

 **A/N: Short chapter, sorry.**

 **So... Considering how much I hate just repeating stuff that happened in show with just minor changes, I decided to make it completely different. So folks, no UnderBrooke. I have an entirely different version of Hell waiting for all of you.**

 **Ooh, that sounds creepy xD no worries, I won't torture too much ;P**


End file.
